今日のfortune

有難うございます！　あなたは数千年に渡って完璧に動作し続ける装置を購入しました！　あなたが何か途方も無く間抜けな操作をして壊さなかったら、のことですが。それを防ぐ為にお願いですから、箱を開ける前に説明書を読んで下さい！　もう開けちゃったんじゃないですか？　違いますか？　開けたでしょう？　開けてコンセントに繋いで何かいじったでしょ？　あんたの子供も！　前にビデオにソーセージ突っ込んで「早送り」ボタンを押した、その子供！　それもこの装置をいじってるんでしょ？　違いますか？　そんでもってあんたはようやく説明書を読み始めたとこですよね？　あーもう、工場で壊しておいて何の違いがあるって言うんですか！

• • Dave Barry、「最初に読め！」

Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?

• • Dave Barry, "Read This First!"